I lift up my eyes to the hills - 

from where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip - 

He who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, He who watches over [Lisa]

will never slumber or sleep.

The Lord watches over you - 

the Lord is your shade at

your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm -

He will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your 

coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121

One of the only psalms I have ever memorized. It seems to me it is always applicable. Whether in my bed or walking around doing normal stuff. My sufficiency is in Christ. My strength comes from God. The Holy Spirit watches over me at all times. I cannot run from His presence, nor do I want to. I've run away before, and tried to hide, and He was there. Waiting. Protecting.

I feel weak right now. Weaker than ever. Today is day two post strong chemo (for details on why the new chemo, read previous blog post). Day one was fine - I think I floated through on remnants of the steroids and anti-nausea meds they gave me with the infusion of chemo. This morning, however, I feel heavier, like my blood is loaded with lead.

But it will pass. And then we'll do it again in three weeks. Until I've had 6 doses. The great news is that all this news this week about "breakthrough in breast cancer treatment"? Well, I'm receiving these miracle cocktails of meds. There couldn't be a better time to have breast cancer. At least that's the way I look at it. That "help from the Lord"? It's His Spirit reminding me of the good over the bad. I cannot do that on my own. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for decades. It has crippled me on countless occasions. To be able to "smile at the future" now? It's a miracle. It's the Spirit of the Living God in me.

I love Jesus. I love that He is the Son of God. I love that God considers me His daughter. And because of the trials set before me in this life, I know He is faithful, loving, and true. Not in spite of the trials. BECAUSE of the trials.

So, I will trudge through today. I'll remember the dreams He's so faithful to give me from time to time (like the one at the beginning of this blog). And I will drink my super smoothies and rest.